On 2.1.2022 I was following the Angelus blessing of Pope Francis and it really touched my heart. The words he said made me think of our stay-at-home-livingroom mass infront of the screen, that we just finished before, where I kept telling the kids to behave, to kneel, to listen… and where we all got quiet frustrated… Then Pope Francis said the following and it made me rethink our attitude and write this blog also to remind myself of what matters…
"Think of the stable in Bethlehem. Jesus was born there, in that poverty, to tell us that he is certainly not afraid of visiting your heart, of dwelling in a shabby life. And this is the word: to dwell [...]: it expresses a total sharing, a great intimacy. And this is what God wants: he wants to dwell with us, he wants to dwell in us, not to remain distant.
And I ask myself, you, all of us: what about us, do we want to make space for him? In words yes, no-one will say, “I don’t!”; yes. But in practice? Perhaps there are aspects of life we keep to ourselves, that are exclusive, or inner spaces that we are afraid the Gospel will enter into, where we do not want God to be involved. Today I invite you to be specific. What are the inner things that I believe God does not like? [...] Let each of us be specific, and answer this. “Yes, yes, I would like Jesus to come, but this, he mustn’t touch it; and this, it too complicated; and this, no, and this...”. [...] The dark areas, our “inner stables”; each one of us has them. And let us also tell him, without fear, about the social problems, and the ecclesial problems of our time, even personal problems, even the worst, because God loves to dwell: in our stable."
When I heard these words (in that specific moment) my messy stable was the chaotic way we just celebrated Mass… Hearing these words gave peace of heart: Jesus I want You to dwell with us, dwell in our messy stable! Even this chaos, the lack of attention, impatience and frustration… Even all this I want to bring to You as a gift and invite You in!
Maybe you are in a part of the world where Corona is under control and you are able to go to Mass like you were used to before… but for most of us, Corona is still part of our every day life: unfortunately! Maybe you are in lockdown, or you have to be in quarantine… maybe members of your family are high risk or elderly… There are still many reasons why someone cannot attend Holy Mass in person and has to follow it on TV or online. And it is a blessing to have these means of communication and to be able to connect but at times it is also hard, frustrating and a pretty messy “stable” to let Him enter… but He is still always invited!
Since Corona started we tried to find ways to make these stay-at-home / livingroom Masses more solemn, more special… or at least less chaotic! We thought to remind you of these ideas in case you too are stuck at home…
Paschal Candle
Every time we celebrate Mass at home, we set up a little altar. The most important part of this altar is lighting the Paschal Candle and setting up a Cross. The Cross reminds us that Jesus loves us so much that He gave His life for us. The Paschal Candle reminds us of the light of Jesus’s resurrection, that His Love overcomes the darkness of death.
This is a perfect idea for a gift to your grandparents or elderly people in your neighbourhood who you know can not attend Mass for longer periods. You can prepare a nice Paschal Candle for them: I am sure they will appreciate it greatly! Martin and Lisa’s grandparents love the candle we made for them! You can find the instructions on how to make your own Paschal Candle here.
We also got some Holy water from our parish. We have that on our little altar as well and we use it for the sign of the cross at the beginning and at the end of the Holy Mass.
Children’s Bibles and Musical Instruments
Before Mass starts, the kids go and collect every children’s Bible and prayer book they can find. Many times you can find at least one of the readings from Sunday Mass in them and the kids can follow it, look at the pictures or even draw them during mass… Sometimes I have colouring pages ready for them: especially on feast days when Mass is longer than usual.
We also prepare different kinds of musical instruments: this way the kids can participate during hymns and prayers that are being sung. I feel that Martin and Lisa are more attentive when they have their intruments: paying attention to see when they can join into the music. Sometimes Lisa starts dancing too and I really love it: it is her way to give glory to God!
We also have two bells ready for the offertory: we become part of the transfiguration by kneeling together in front of the screen and being the altar servers who ring the bell!
Spiritual Communion / Dedication
Spiritual Communion has become an important part of this Corona-period. It’s such a simple and beautiful prayer that clearly comes straight from the heart. I find it really helpful and important to be able to say this prayer together with the kids. So at the beginning of the Pandemic I used to improvise and tell them in a more childish simple way how we give our hearts to Jesus and ask Him to be in our hearts always and how much we love Him… I’m sure that kids that had their Sacrament of Communion already understand what it means and thus understand the prayer of Spiritual Communion as well. But little kids like Martin who was 5 and even more Lisa who was only 2 when the pandemic started need to talk to Jesus in their own language, in their own way!
I thought, maybe it would be helpful to have a child-friendly simple prayer that we could read every time always in the same way: this way they will eventually know it by heart and pray it with us and internalize it too… It’s like a dedication of their hearts to Jesus and it has become part of our prayer after Communion as a family. You can write your own or you can download it above. And you can find the spiritual communion-prayer that Pope Francis prays as a print-out card with a beautiful painting on it on the eyebeleave blog as a free download. Just click here.
Last but not least: Patience and Mercy
This pandemic is taking so long already and we are all tired of it, sad about it and frustrated with it. And the children even more: some of them had to miss the oportunity to go to church during Christmas and see the beautiful huge decorated christmastrees and intricate cribs, see other kids during services and hear the organ play Silent Night… While it is an enourmous gift, that we can follow Mass online, for which we are very grateful, it really is not the same thing and sometimes it is a real strugle.
In my experience, kids have bigger trouble concentrating when watching mass at home on the screen. Maybe the sound is not so good and it is hard to hear and understand the readings. One hour seems like eternity and they get unsettled and wonder off. Maybe they insist on keeping a toy in their hands and fiddle with it or they are suddenly starwing and need some crackers. The list goes on… Obviously this is not how they would behave in church or how you would want them to behave during mass!
Nevertheless: BE PATIENT! HAVE MERCY with them and yourself. Let go of your expectations and ideas and focus on what matters! Jesus wants to come into your heart and into your home: let Him in! But don’t pretend to have an immaculate home of perfectly clean rooms and perfectly behaved little kids! Let Him into “our stable” like Pope Francis said… Let Him into your messy livingroom! Let Him be part of your messy, loud and chaotic everyday life! Let Him become your best friend and confidante and let Him become your kids best friend too: someone they can not only adore and pray to in a far distance, but someone that is close to them, someone they can talk to about their toys, their joys, their fears and irritations, … someone who is allowed into every nook and crany of their lives; the good parts and the bad too. Someone who is always invited and welcome with open arms in our messy little stable!
Joy in their Eyes 